Inner Mentor vs. Inner Critic
Sketch of Myrdalsojokull Glacier, Iceland
What has brought you awe recently?
A friend asked at the dinner table; good speakers and leaders, music, nature, the sunrise, glaciers, and the Olympics (wasn’t Alysa Liu inspiring?) were among the responses.
Since then, I’ve been paying attention.
I was in awe when I relearned and understood something a little better. Tara Mohr, in her book Playing Big, reminded me about the inner critic we carry, but also introduce me to my inner mentor, and I am in love!
The inner critic is that self-doubt and fearful voice that highlights our mistakes and flaws and magnifies them quite adeptly. Not totally accurate, but could we say well intended as it tries to keep us safe? only it is by keeping us small. AND there is nothing wrong with any of us that hear it, sometimes very loudly, it is normal.
In my experience trying to silence it, just gave more attention and room to those thoughts.
More on that in a minute.
Have you heard the Cherokee tale of the two wolves? An elder teaches a child that inside each of us there is a battle between two wolves. One is evil and the other good. The child asks “Which wolf wins?, the elder replies “The one that you feed.”
Parallel to that story, Mohr helped me understand my inner mentor with her core idea that true progress comes from inner wisdom. She says “Playing big doesn’t come from working more, pushing harder, or finding confidence. It comes from listening to the most powerful and secure part of you, not the voice of self-doubt.”
Lately, I have been uncomfortably sitting with my inner critic and repeating the phrase “thank you for sharing! THANK YOU FOR SHARING!” yes sometimes it must be said loudly (thank you Dr. Allen for teaching me that!), so I am making better friends with my inner mentor because of it, which to me is another way of self-love.
Ecuadorian dolls
All these thoughts have been in my head, when in a morning drive I turned on some music and it was the right moment to hear this song again.
This time I heard it differently. The song carries an Andean flavor with windpipes, charangos, and many references to art and culture. I heard it as a love song to the self.
The lyrics speak of having time marked on one’s core, about a faith that is maturing and healing as one gets to know (oneself). Of an imprint that does not allow us to lie. About a morning waiting, and a painting longing for the color blue. It speaks about love and luck; about climbing a steep path. Of becoming your own north and south.
At then it says “Vamos a hacer una fiesta, Pa’ que este amor crezca más”
Let us celebrate and make this love grow even more. YESSS!
The question at the table, the words in the book, the practice of answering my critic, the song on that morning drive. They opened the door to get closer to my inner mentor.
I hope you also have those moments when everything quietly aligns. When a question, a memory, a song, and a teaching weave together and make you smile from the inside. The kind of moment that feels like standing in front of a glacier or watching the sunrise, except it is happening inside you.